As a funny story, when I was walking through a shortcut to get back to my bike one night, I pulled off one of the most dramatic sober wipe outs that I've had in a while (don't have drunken ones....I'm too smooth). I decided that I had had enough of walking around the hell known as Patong Beach, and that I wanted to get out of there. Instead of walking around through all the shit again though, I figured that I would take a short cut through one of the massive resorts that line the road along the beach here (see pic from above). When I got into the complex I realized that it was all gated and there were no doors out to the other side of the block where my bike was. After walking around inside the building for 5 minutes, I went out the nearest exit so that I could look up to find the big tower that I had initially oriented myself with when I entered the complex. Just outside the door, there was a small ledge that I had to step up onto so that I could get out from under the overhang to see the tower.
When I took my next step I realized that it didn't feel like my first step, and knew that I was in trouble. It turns out that this fancy resort had put a 2 foot deep muddy watered pond in their courtyard, complete with lilly pads and thorny plants. Given that I had just spent a month in Indonesia, it had been a while since I've encountered landscaping of this magnitude.
My brain registered the fall in 3 very separate and distinct stages:
1. Shit, I just stepped into water, and its f*#king deep.
2. Oh no, I think that my other leg is coming in to.
And then the most important stage:
3. I'm getting wet.
Yes, I literally fell full force into this pond, kicking and splashing the whole way down. Mom, I now finally know what it felt like that day at Rainbow Valley when you had that near death drowning experience in that foot and a half deep pool at the bottom of the water slide.
I popped up quite quickly and was back outside the pond in a flash, but the damage was already done. My shirt and shorts were completely drenched and covered in rancid smelling grey mud. Surprisingly, I immediately broke into a laughing fit. Thankfully nobody saw the fall, but afterwards a woman walked by when I was standing by the pond, hunched over laughing, all by myself......and soaking wet. She never said anything, but the look that she gave me was enough.
One of my sandals fell victim to the shitty smelling mud at the bottom of the pond, so I tossed the other one in for good riddance. I had to go back out around and make the walk through downtown Patong Beach with no sandals......soaking wet.....covered in mud. The hookers actually left me alone this time. I think that they could tell by the look on my face that 'happy ending' was no longer an option for me.
It was a cold drive home, but I managed to survive the fall with only a few cuts to my hands and feet.
Anyway, that is about as exciting as it gets for me these days. I am now on Ko Pha Nang island in the Gulf of Thailand, staying in a little hut on the beach with my hammock on the front. My days consist of snoozing, eating, reading and playing guitar. Yes, things are winding down for me on this trip. These tired old bones are starting to crave a nice couch, a pizza, and a good hockey game on the tube.
Bye for now. I just realized that an army of ants have infiltrated my juice box.